It’s been a little while since I last put pen to paper, but today I feel I absolutely had to, the recent “debate” and I use that word very loosely around PIP and disability benefits is worrying on a number of levels, not just because I receive PIP myself and have survived on it for the last couple of years whilst fighting back from illness, but also because it is also yet another example of how the wealthy elites and ruling classes in this country are influencing the middle and working classes to punch down and blame the little guy, rather than fighting back against tax evasion and avoidance by the rich, the millionaires and billionaires of this country.
So first a bit of background, following covid from which I never fully recovered I was diagnosed with a leaking aortic value (a heart condition where one of the main valves in the heart leaks, and cannot pull the blood around the body enough, this results in fluids building up in the lower part of the body (mostly the legs) making it painful to walk, stand or even sit, In fact at one point the only way I could be free of the worst of the pain was to be taking Tramadol and Oramorph at the same time, and it was certainly the only way I could sleep, another result of this buildup of fluids in the body is it breaks through the skin and leaks out causing open wounds on the legs and feet, which obviously have to be treated and dressed daily to stop infection, i spent the best part of a year almost completely house bound, and totally unable to work.
My wife “An Immigrant” with indefinite leave to remain in the UK (came here 18 years ago from Poland and has worked ever since) has worked 60 hour weeks for the last couple of years to try and stem the gap left by me not working, and keep our heads above water and to stop us from going under and probably winding up homeless. And on top of working 60 hours a week she would constantly check up on me during the day, wash and dress my legs at 5am before going to work and then again at 8pm after getting home, she helps me in and out of the shower as we could not afford to get our bathroom modified to make it friendly to my conditions. She would also have to wash my legs and often help me on and off the toilet, she would go and do the shopping, often with me in tow as it was one of the only times I could get out of the house for a few hours each week.
So yes I do claim PIP and I do get a so called “FREE” car, prior to becoming ill I drove a Ford Transit SWB, which I was forced to sell as I could no longer get in and out of it, let alone drive it, my wife’s little Dacia whilst relatively new was of little use as I couldn’t get in or out of it, and even when I did I was in agony as I couldn’t straighten or move my legs properly in it.
So we looked at Motobility and found a Basic Model Renault Captur at Bristol Street Motors, I could get in and out in a fashion, and it was automatic with very light controls so I would even be able to drive it, and with my blue badge I wouldn’t have to walk to far if I wanted to go to a local shop and get something, there was no way on earth we could have afforded to Lease or Buy the car privately, because when you are in benefits no one is going to give you lease or loan you the money to buy a car, and being disabled we needed something reliable, a car breaking down when your out is bad enough at the best of times, but if your disabled and need to get home to take medication etc it can be life threatening. Now the lease on that car costs me about £75 a week from my benefits which is about the going rate if you were to lease it privately so it’s not like we are getting a fantastic deal. But what I do get is a reliable vehicle that will allow me to get out of the house and do things that normal people do every day of the week without thinking.
So what else do I get, well I get £108 a week in PIP and £138 a week in ESA, now if anyone thinks thats too much then fine, but I challenge you to live on it. I don’t get any other help, no council tax discount, no help with rent as I am a homeowner, and have had to change my mortgage over to interest only in order to keep my house going (no i don’t get help with this either). Oh and my wife doesn’t get or claim anything despite being a migrant working in a warehouse, because this was the job where she could get enough hours at a reasonable wage in order to keep the wolves from our doors, she would love to be doing a better job, but we simply cannot afford for her to move jobs at the moment.
Now we have both paid our taxes all our lives and until recently claimed nothing from the state, we even delayed having children because we couldn’t afford it and now it looks like we will probably miss out on that completely despite us both wanting them, it just wouldn’t be right to bring a chid into our current situation.
So 2 years on and I am still waiting for the NHS to do something about my heart, i’m not even on a waiting list as apparently it is not serious enough, however I am fighting back, I have slowly but surely managed to lose weight and get myself a bit fitter, this has allowed me to reduce the amount of pain killers I take on a daily basis, I usually try and wait until the early evening to take any, and just do my best to put up with the pain during the day. I have managed to do some courses and take exams which will allow me to work part time from home, and I am starting on the road back to work and being productive again.
And so to Mental Health, on top of my various physical conditions one thing that a long term debilitating illness is absolutely 100% guaranteed to give you is mental health problems, the isolation, the feeling of being a burden, being useless, and constant pain. I did get diagnosed with Anxiety and Depression and still suffer now, my physical appearance now is something the I find repulsive I have removed most of the mirrors from the house because I just don’t want to see myself, I hate being in photographs, and always feel self conscious and anxious when out in public because of the way i look, when I got ill I was about 12 stone and used to cycle 30+ miles most days, these days even after losing a huge amount of weight I am still over 23 stone and have to walk with a stick or crutches most of the time.
Because of the diagnosis I did get some talking therapy session 12 weeks talking to someone for half an hour each time, and it helped, a bit, but ever time they would ask “Have you thought about hurting yourself” and every time I lied, because to be quite honest there wasn’t a single day went by that I didn’t think about killing myself, and had I known I could of done it without fucking it up and making things worse I probably would have.
So when the government or the ruling classes are telling you we need to cut support for the disabled or take away their cars, or cut winter fuel payments to pensioners, or free school meals from kids who’s parents are on benefits just have a little think to yourself and ask yourself, Is it their fault or is it the wealthy that pay low wages, is the reason the working and middle classes in this country are being impoverished because the rich are hoarding wealth, or is it because that bloke with a heart condition has a car on a lease, that he couldn’t otherwise get.
Start Punching Up not Down, until we start fighting for the wealthy to pay their share, we will never ever solve the problems in this country, wealth inequality is the problem, not poor people and the disabled.
TAX WEALTH NOT WORK…….
Btw if you really are interested in learning a bit more of why our economy is in the mess it is in then check out the video below.
